trash days..

another day, parents on leave, mother making nice food and father giving an answer to my usual query. The conversation goes like this:-

me:father!how many days have u and mother have taken leave??

father:i dont know exactly..maybe a week or so..

me (visibly looking shattered!): a week’s leave??…but why a week’s leave…is there something important??

father: yeah!..we have to fix up the electricity in the new house and then the water system should also work properly and yea..the gas also should come for cooking…so a week’s leave is for sure…if the work still remains then maybe well extend our leave..

me (now completely shattered!): ohh..ok..but if the work winds up quickly then u both will go to your offices…isnt it??

father: i dont know…well see….

me: but you should go..isnt it???..i mean…if the work in the new house finishes quickly…

father (visibly angry and frustrated) : i dont know whats the problem with you??..why dont you want us to take leave??..children of your age are happy when their parents take leave and here you get soo annoyed when we take a leave..if you dont want to live here..then go…alright??

me: im sorry father…

so this is the usual conversation which is carried between me and my father. The result is that ive to eat in front of my parents that day which results in my binge..so a simple guess tells that im binging each day…yes!!..each and every day

now then my mother comes and yells that she should take retirement from her office so that she’ll keep an eye on me since im forcing them to go

huh!!!..what a life!!..”sigh”   

I use to be so strong

Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness
And cleanliness is godliness, and God is empty just like me

a sad song..

this is indeed a sad song…its my favorite one and i find relief in reading it…its been modified by me…

you with those sad eyes

dont lose faith

but i know its hard to keep faith

with people all around

it makes you feel more morose

you loose sight of it all

and the emptiness and lonliness inside of you

makes you feel so small..

although this is a short song but it clearly expresses what i feel many times..

sickening…

i still am not able to figure this out…is this some kind of funny thing going on??…everytime i login to here..it doesnt opens up my account!!…instead an idiotic “welcome back” brings me up back here…does tumblr have its own logging in times which all the people have to follow??..huh!!…all i can say is that this seems to me ridiculous!!!…

die Pictures, Images and Photos

anyways…claimed my wordpress blog on bloglovin!!!

back on track…finally!!

today is tuesday but i was back on track from monday only…am really pissed off..this tumblr it wasnt working only…i wrote this post but wen i clicked on “create post” it dint worked…later i found out that tumblr wasnt working because my computer has been invaded by all kinds of malicious viruses…”sigh”…

anyways…ive started exercising and eating as less as possible…to be precise…a glass of cold-coffee is the only solid thing i drink the whole day….ohh!! how much i wish to be that 88lbs girl again…but only wishing doesnt ever helps..isnt it??

exept that….the last two days were pretty normal…class 12 CBSE board results were out….needless to say the main page and the consecutive two pages of the newspaper were covered with the boisterous 95 percenters who had “made their parents proud”…one kind of tradition reigning in my family is that wenever these results are out…the elders come with expressions of shock and delightment mixed on their faces and stare at me…obviously..their aim is to ask me if i would ever make it like these genieuses??…to which i know that not saying anything is the best solution…but sometimes…i really blame these intellectuals and brainy hunks for making the lives of satisfactory and below-average scorers like us a complete hell…anyways..i neednt go into details and all that….

meet u tomorrow..just a small quote for myself after all this…

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

what i want…

well…am really not asking people to follow my blog since its only on my weighty issues…but ive seen many of these girls like me getting followed…hope someday someone recognises me also….

anyways…ill be getting back on track on monday and from then ill NEVER binge….it happens with me…once i get back on track..i tend to overexercise and restrict completely…which results in me falling off the wagon..but i swear ill naver fall off from now because there is a hope everytime…

1 more thing…my heading says “want more followeres on twitter”..i want it to go…i dont know how to delete it…can someone tell pleaseeee…:(



MySpace Comments & Desktop Wallpaper

m really in need of control…i showed soo much control once….wonder where has it vanished…

m really in need of control…i showed soo much control once….wonder where has it vanished…

WHY???…

not at all feeling great since am constantly forcing food inside me without even tasting it…i dont think am feeling soo hungry…then why???

need control...